Colossians 3:1-17 Dissident relationships
Relationships are a natural
part of everyday life, at home, work, even in the shops we are relating to
others. Sometimes it is face to face, sometimes it is on the phone, and
increasingly it is indirect through email, text or internet sites. But do we
ever stop to think about how we relate to others? Or perhaps more purposefully,
what or who is shaping how we relate. It’s a question worth asking because
there seems to be a great number of bad examples. TV seems to have morbid
fascination with broken and strained relationships. It is the bedrock of a
significant part of TV, from soaps to reality TV and comedy. Viewers are
entertained by the arguments, tension and anger that occurs
between the people on screen.
But how do we learn healthy
relationships, ones that build and don’t destroy? Paul writing to the
Colossians wants to provide them with a clear understanding of how to develop
healthy relationships. In what seems at first glance like a good list, bad list
of relating behaviours Paul outlines how relationships should look. But we
misread Paul if we see it this way, the chapters are an artificial intrusion on
the flow of what Paul is writing, Ch.3 v.1 flows directly on from Ch.2 v.23. At
the end of chapter two Paul has been arguing against submitting ourselves to
lists of do’s and don’ts. Christ has freed us from this way of life; besides,
Paul points out, it doesn’t achieve anything positive anyway. So the last thing
Paul is doing is providing a do/don’t list. What Paul is doing is fleshing out
what it means to live out the resurrection of Christ.
The key to understanding
this passage is to get our heads around the first four verses. These verses are a continuation of Paul’s
unravelling of what it means to believe in Jesus. Paul has already spoken about
what it means to have died with Christ (ch.2 v.20-23) and now is speaking about
the implications for our lives of believing we have been raised with Christ.
The basic message is that now we have been raised with Christ we are new
people. This
means we need to shift our focus from living by the ways found on earth and
start living with our hearts and minds set on things above. One writer described this as “living out the
life of heaven within us”. We are new people, but we are still living in an old
world, although Christ has won the victory he hasn’t yet subdued everything
that stands against him. If we choose to live with our hearts and minds set on
things above, then we can reflect the ways of Christ in our daily lives.
This means two things, Paul
points out, firstly we need to stop living like the old one and secondly we
need to start living like the new one.
Stopping the Old:
Firstly we’ve got to stop
treating people in the same way as the world does because it’s incompatible
with the new life. Paul explains this through the example of sexual immorality.
Seems a bit of a heavy one to go with, but there is method and reason to Paul’s
approach. Paul peels back the layers behind sexual immorality, showing the
connecting behaviours, attitudes and thinking which lead to sexual immorality.
Paul’s a perceptive chap, and he highlights that at the root of sexual
immorality is idolatry. In the context of what Paul is saying here, this means
that the focus of hearts and minds isn’t on Christ. That’s not good. Not good
for us, not good for others. Because when our mind and hearts aren’t fixed on
Christ, then others became means to achieving our ends. In the case of Paul’s
example in v.5, other people are used for the individual’s sexual
gratification. Paul was obviously pinpointing a particular situation which the
Colossians were susceptible to. Yet one that still
rings true today. But we could also think about how others are exploited so we
can have cheap goods, our greed to save money is at
someone else’s expense. Or we could think about how easy it is to put others
down so we feel better, or to assert ourselves in ways that crush others. The
end result is the same, other people are used and
devalued so we can get what we want. Not having our focus on Christ impacts how
we relate to others.
Paul is pointing out to the
Colossians how their actions are incompatible with their new life, the two
don’t fit together. They are new creations, in the image of Christ and these ways
of behaving don’t fit no more. If they are to fully embrace the new life, they
need to leave the old ways and that involves recognising the old ways for what
they are.
Starting the New:
Secondly Paul wants them to
start living the new way, but again we need to be careful that this doesn’t end
up slipping into a do/don’t scenario. Paul doesn’t say they need to focus on
the stopping or starting but more the realisation of who they now are. Verse 12
is one every Christian should spend serious time pondering, on a regular basis.
“…as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved…” Amazing words, that need time
to sink in. The most important word of this for what Paul is saying here is the
“as”. It’s not a case of will be or if you’re good enough you will be, this is how
you are, now, right now. Paul is telling the Colossians to start behaving like
they already are. Embrace the new you! Live it out. Again Paul focuses on how
we relate to one another. The person living the new life is characterised by
kindness, compassion, humility, gentleness, forgiveness and patience. And this
isn’t just towards those we like but to everyone, indiscriminately. Paul
mentions a load of different groups in v.11, all
societies have names and ways of dividing the people up. Some derogatory, some
complimentary; but all assign a value to the people being named. It’s easy to
find ourselves devaluing others when they aren’t like us and as a result to
treat them differently. This isn’t the way of the new life, in the new life
“Christ is all and in all” (v.11). Therefore all should be valued equally.
Paul concludes this section
by reminding the Colossians that they are called to be one body. Even though
they might be made of lots of different groups, all are equal in the new life.
Therefore they should relate to each other in ways that build up the body of
Christ not break it down. It is important to think about whether the way we
behave and what we say towards one another in the church helps to build or
break down the body of Christ. Paul gives some handy pointers in v.16 as to
what we should do within the church to ensure that the body of Christ is built
not broken. But central to achieving this is remembering who all of us are in
the new life. Understanding our identity helps us to start living because we
are, not trying to be someone, by how we live.
This is counter cultural,
yes it’s dissident, it’s bucking the normal way of
life where we are what we are by how we live. But Paul describes another way,
the way of Christ, the way of the resurrected Christ and it’s a better way of
being.
Questions & Responses:
1) Spend sometime thinking
about the various interactions you’ve had over the past week, to what extent
were they ‘of earth’ or ‘of above’?
2) Pause, find a quiet
space and read v.12 again, and again, and again, and again….give it time to
really sink in. Do you believe this and know it deep in your heart? What
difference does it make?
4) How can you build a
routine into your day that ensures you are clothed with the new life each day?